After a few minutes of paralyzing silence, I stood and, without raising my voice, said no. I wanted to keep the ring. I didn't care if my reply was awkward and crude. At that time, it felt good to just let the heart rule your mind. I think W. understood why.
That ring that W. wanted back was the first ever that I had. That's why it meant so much and actually found it very difficult to part with it. I have faithfully worn it since that night at the coffee shop when W., during an animated conversation about vows and rings, suddenly took out something from an inside pocket, laid it on the table, and asked if I can wear it. My jaws dropped like I was dazed as I stared on the gold band, that kind usually worn during weddings. In between smirks and one-liner jokes, I took it and slid it on my left ring finger. It fit so perfectly. And just like that, I was taken. For W., deciding to wear somebody else's ring actually meant agreeing to partner with the one who gave it. I don't know where that came from and I don't even want to know if that makes sense. But it felt good.
Anyway, W. never asked for the ring back. I inquired how were we going to divide those things given us. I was told to bring all those I wanted and just leave the ones I didn't fancy. The whole time, W.'s back was facing me which was unbearable. When things became extremely uneasy for us inside the bedroom, W. turned for the door to leave. Just before reaching the door, with all sincerity, I requested for one last hug. We then held for a few seconds until W. broke free and rushed out of the house to the car weeping.
I sat on the bed sobbing after that. For how long, I don't quite remember. I sensed it must have been a while since the maid knocked on the door and asked if I was OK. I asked her to come in and fix all my clothes because I was leaving that night.
The most heartwrenching part was not actually leaving the house nor seeing your partner go. For me, it was undefined torture to go through each of the drawers in the closet we had and sorted everything --- from shirts, shorts, underwears, hankies, socks. I showed the maid how to arrange the clothes back. I then headed to the bathroom and got my shaver, shampoo, toothbrush, perfume. I also made sure that all my books were collected, including the coffee mug that I use. I didn't want to leave any trace there. What I wanted was leave the place as if I was never there.
to be continued
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