A. is the acknowledged authority when talks start exploring the dark and unknown territories of sexual compulsiveness. He's not ashamed of it much less try to hide it. He doesn't openly volunteer talking about the subject but you expect him to go into the finer details to reinforce a point. Straight from the horse's mouth, he says. We had a good conversation yesterday about this over coffee.
From a little over than ten years since he started grazing the scene, he said, he's probably had partners running up to four digits. That means a thousand at the very least. My jaws fell when I heard him say that. Nothing normally shocks me, but this one was just startling. I asked him if that was something he was proud of, his head moved slightly embarrassed from side to side.
A.'s intelligent. He did physics in college and carries a masters degree in information technology. You could say he sort of did a self-check and diagnosed himself to be sexually compulsive after reading medical reference books one after another on the subject. He was prompted to do this after getting alarmed for his unusual appetite for sex. It was so bad, he revealed, that even if he didn't feel like it, he would be out there in the wild because he felt he needed it. That's how he became a fixture in bars, orgy parties, malls, and just about any other public place. He's had it in all imaginable places and time. There was even that late night that it took place right there on a dark busy sidewalk of a highway fronting a mall. That was the last straw. He sought medical help afterwards and began a drastic lifestyle change. He's done well so far, he said.
From his story, I realized that sexual compulsion lives like any of the other silent yet prevalent maladies in our midst. Like marital rape, incest, kleptomania. It lives among us and yet isn't one that's intelligently understood by most. For one, sexual compulsive people are frequently thought to be promiscuous creatures who would do it with any person anytime, anywhere completely erasing from the picture people who don't seek multiple partners but who would masterfully masturbate seven times a day, and are considered sexually compulsive as well.
What's the fuss with all these? Breaking myths.
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