Three things

I've been tagged. Several times already, but this is the first time I'm yielding. It helps that the questions are interesting and fresh, but having my cool friend Mavic do the tagging makes it more worthwhile. I never realized we had so much in common. Well, what do you expect, our birth dates are just a few days apart.

So, here it is. Let us discover more about each other.
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Three names you go by:
1. Jongjong (by aunties/uncles mostly)
2. Jong
3. Jayvee

Three screen names you have had:
1. promdi
2. rancho
3. basco

Three physical things you like about yourself:
1. Color
2. Lips
3. Butt

Three physical things you don't like about yourself:
1. Height, could’ve been taller.
2. Eyebrows, thick and unruly.
3. Cut, it could have been uncut.

Three things that scare you:
1. Losing a family member.
2. Growing old alone. Growing old single doesn't scare me.
3. Absence of friends.

Three of your everyday essentials:
1. Mobile phone
2. Gym bag
3. Wallet

Three of your favorite musical artists:
1. El Divo
2. Michael Buble
3. Shirley Bassey

Three of your favorite songs:
1. ‘Waiting for Love’ by Sergio Mendes
2. ‘You’ by The Carpenters
3. ‘Misty’ by Sarah Vaughn

Three things you want in a relationship:
1. Humor
2. Vow to make it work
3. Loyalty

Three lies and truths in no particular order:
LIES:
1. I’m not gonna cum inside.
2. I just had a bottle.
3. I love you.
TRUTH:
1. We should not ignore our spirituality.
2. Being in a relationship is easy. Being with somebody worth your while is not easy.
3. Strive to be friends with your ex’s.

Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeal to you:
1. Slim waist.
2. Nice feet.
3. Smooth skin.

Three of your favorite hobbies:
1. Sports
2. Travel
3. Photography

Three things you want to do really badly now:
1. A month’s vacation
2.Massage
3.A quiet romantic dinner

Three careers you're considering/you've considered:
1. Social worker
2. Teacher/Coach
3. Detective agent

Three places you want to go on vacation:
1. Italy
2. Austria
3. Remote places in China

Three kid's names you like:
1. Elise
2. Macky
3. Teresa

Three things you want to do before you die:
1. Bring my family to a cruise.
2. Write my autobiography.
3. Be in a long-term meaningful relationship.

Three ways that you are stereotypically male:
1. I can’t distinguish mauve from violet.
2. I don’t like shopping.
3. I sip my soup loudly.

Three ways that you are stereotypically female:
1. I eat pasta with spoon and fork.
2. I have penchant for romantic comedies.
3. Shampoo then conditioner; not shampoo+conditioner in one.

Three people I admire:
1. My Lolo Papang
2. Greg Louganis
3. CJ Hilario Davide

Bonding in little things

There came a time many years ago when I sought dining out with as much passion and thrill as a little boy blowing birthday candles. The visits to different eating places both classy and behind the times were always a source of delight for me. But, in a strange way, it wasn’t because I was high-maintenance or I moved in predominantly fashionable places. Absolutely not.

Instead, I relished those dining experiences because they gave me a more powerful insight on how intimacy can come in the form of the most minute gestures and facial expressions. I think that’s when I learned to be watchful and appreciative of even the most trivial and ordinary things. I think that was also the time I became hopelessly romantic. As the years passed, my idea of intimacy sharpened and made much more meaningful and personal.

For instance, everytime we’d dine out in the restaurant or decide to watch a movie, my ex W. would hand me his wallet. I didn’t think of it much the first few times. It never occurred to me that it was his way of making it easy for himself by lightening his load. When I thought about it much later on, I melted. It was such a bliss thinking how he would entrust me with his most private things. I never heard him warn me about not poring over the items inside nor give me creepy glances at any time. I made sure the risk he took was worthwhile. I guarded the wallet with my life and never let it out of my sight. Well, it helped also that I enjoyed looking at two leather men’s wallets sitting warmly side by side.

The wallet experience spread through even at home. There was a time he offered to scrub for me the hard-to-reach areas of my back when I was taking a bath and he was just two feet away from me brushing his teeth. Sometimes he’d volunteer to clip my nails or clean my ears while I watch tv with my head resting on his lap.

Inside the car, there is an unwritten rule that a hand rests on the other’s thigh. Most of the time, it was my left hand gently perched on his right thigh while he drives. A break only happens when I notice him doing head rotations and I would instinctively have my left hand massage his nape and shoulders. The car has also witnessed me blush while receiving my first two dozen roses and lifesize doggie stuff toy.

So in what other ways did intimacy reveal itself? Five have been listed. I have 15 more in my list. Perhaps I shall write again sometime to give them life. But in the meantime, let the first five live through. I tell you, you haven't heard the best part yet.

Intimacy

When friends ask me about my most intimate moments, they seem to imagine me naked cavorting with somebody. They pucker their lips and dilate their pupils as they stare at me passionately, eagerly waiting for me to feed them with very explicit rundown of events from the time doors are locked to the time flys are unbuttoned and shirts fly around the room.

But sadly, that’s not my idea of intimacy. How I have understood intimacy over the years has nothing to do with undressing but everything to do with taking your fears and mistrust away as you build something with somebody. I’m not a love doctor and I don’t claim to be one, but my experiences have led me to think I’ve been on the right lane.

Church reality

I turned a bit to steal a gaze at him. He seemed to enjoy the moment it made me happy quietly. While he would occasionally read mindlessly the service bulletin, on whole, he appeared calm, introspective, and thoughtful. He would nudge me now and then or paste his thigh so closely against mine as he smiled, but he stared most of the time on the huge cross plastered prominently on the center of the sanctuary.

It was first Sunday of the month. We found ourselves going to church together even if we have known each other slightly over 12 hours earlier. It was late afternoon that time and I just finished working out at the gym. On my way out, I decided to drop by a nearby food place to while away time and catch my breath. That’s when he came. He approaced my table and asked if he can join me. I pulled back my tray to give him space.

We talked and talked and talked some more. It led us mostly to interesting discoveries. I don’t know, but the interest probably lived until the next day since he called and asked what I was up to that morning. He said he was heading to a church service and he wanted to know if it was possible to meet after that. I floated the idea of us going together to my church since the worship schedules were more or less the same anyway. He agreed. That’s how we ended up at the church.

But this is not about the guy. I’m not going to write anything about us. There is no us. He confessed he got into a relationship four days before we met. His eyes turned misty when he spoke about it. So there is no us.

But I insisted on writing this because something took root in me that morning. Nothing new, but something I have always advocated.

For people in a committed relationship, there has to be something more than just their love to keep them together and enrich their bond. For some, it’s a hobby or a sport. Others engage in charity work. For me, it’s going to church. There is something about the sight of a praying man, a prayerful man if you may, that’s infinitely appealing. But what captivates me even more is the idea of surrender, of acknowledging mortality, of recognizing something powerful that puts order into things, of appreciating the need for balance between things of this world and those ones that are spiritual.

That Sunday, I thanked God for letting me feel so strongly about my beliefs. I thanked Him even more for showing it to me clearly that it's not at all impossible to still find prayerful men today. It's just sad that most of them are in their respective relationships already. Be it happy or otherwise. I don't care to know.