Bonding in little things

There came a time many years ago when I sought dining out with as much passion and thrill as a little boy blowing birthday candles. The visits to different eating places both classy and behind the times were always a source of delight for me. But, in a strange way, it wasn’t because I was high-maintenance or I moved in predominantly fashionable places. Absolutely not.

Instead, I relished those dining experiences because they gave me a more powerful insight on how intimacy can come in the form of the most minute gestures and facial expressions. I think that’s when I learned to be watchful and appreciative of even the most trivial and ordinary things. I think that was also the time I became hopelessly romantic. As the years passed, my idea of intimacy sharpened and made much more meaningful and personal.

For instance, everytime we’d dine out in the restaurant or decide to watch a movie, my ex W. would hand me his wallet. I didn’t think of it much the first few times. It never occurred to me that it was his way of making it easy for himself by lightening his load. When I thought about it much later on, I melted. It was such a bliss thinking how he would entrust me with his most private things. I never heard him warn me about not poring over the items inside nor give me creepy glances at any time. I made sure the risk he took was worthwhile. I guarded the wallet with my life and never let it out of my sight. Well, it helped also that I enjoyed looking at two leather men’s wallets sitting warmly side by side.

The wallet experience spread through even at home. There was a time he offered to scrub for me the hard-to-reach areas of my back when I was taking a bath and he was just two feet away from me brushing his teeth. Sometimes he’d volunteer to clip my nails or clean my ears while I watch tv with my head resting on his lap.

Inside the car, there is an unwritten rule that a hand rests on the other’s thigh. Most of the time, it was my left hand gently perched on his right thigh while he drives. A break only happens when I notice him doing head rotations and I would instinctively have my left hand massage his nape and shoulders. The car has also witnessed me blush while receiving my first two dozen roses and lifesize doggie stuff toy.

So in what other ways did intimacy reveal itself? Five have been listed. I have 15 more in my list. Perhaps I shall write again sometime to give them life. But in the meantime, let the first five live through. I tell you, you haven't heard the best part yet.