I have yet to find somebody who genuinely hates dating. I think even my friends who vehemently say they're up in arms against the idea may actually be thrilled deep in their hearts. That's my fearless forecast. They're just too shy to admit. I don't know why they have to exert so much effort trying to put up a mighty image, one that will put China's Great Wall in shame.
They're missing a lot. There is so much about dating that gets one lightened up and excited and bubbly like everyone else. At least for me, I relish at the thought that it's actually a convenient opportunity to dress a little more than usual, to be more refined than usual, to look better than usual, to smell better than usual, and to feel better than usual. I especially adore the last one. I think this is the reason that drives most people nuts and decide to go out there and meet people regardless of whether there have been awful moments before. Every date is a step towards ending the chase and finding relief. Every date represents a glimmer of hope that our lifelong wish for a fairytale romance finally comes true.
But not all dates are made in the heavens. In my case, there have few instances in my dating past when I wanted to run home as fast as I can no later than half an hour into the date. Call me rude, call me prude, but I just can't help it. There are only three possible reasons that make me do this.
In no time, I found out that M just came from a three-year relationship just weeks before we met. Right there and then, I backed off. It has always been a non-negotiable for me to date people who have just been from broken relationship. And my reasoning I think is as scientific as it is practical. I think I'm giving the guy more favor by giving more time for himself to enjoy his newly-found status and to reflect on things. That's my RedFlag #1.
I think it's also scary to date somebody who calls his ex's names. I don't care if he has had 20 people who came before me. What matters to me is how he relates to them. If I find him in talking terms with all of them or at least be civil when they meet, I'm floored. I think it reflects so much about his character. But if I hear him call any one of them an asshole or stupid, then I run for cover. RedFlag#2.
My last red flag should hold true for all. I always tell myself and all my friends that it's never worth the risk to date somebody who does drugs. I don't care if he makes Queen Elizabeth drool. It's just not wise.
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