<h3>Getting through it</h3>

While we're at it, we might as well find out all we can about the topic. Thanks to Oprah, coping becomes slightly easier because of tips coming from real people in real stories.

My friends, here are some of Dr. Phil's insights that may be helpful for us, especially those of us getting past the pain of break up or those who are helping friends cope with it. Let's always take care of each other.

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Do's

1. DO watch your vocabulary.
We all have an internal conversation with ourselves. Since it shapes our outlook, be careful about the language you choose. Words like "nightmare," "terrible" and "horrible" are catastrophic terms. If you use them, you're bound to spend time dwelling on the negative. Spend more time focusing on what you can do.

2. DO define your real intentions.
Are you trying to move past the break-up, or are you hoping to get back with your ex? Define the emotional goal. You won't move on until you've truly accepted that the relationship is over.

3. DO allow yourself to own your feelings.
You can't get over being hurt until you know you've been heard. Give yourself permission to express your anger, your sadness—whatever emotions you may be experiencing. It's better to be angry with someone else than to blame yourself.

4. DO learn to trust again.
Whenever you get involved in a relationship, you know there's risk. Don't let a bad experience keep you from living your life to the fullest.

Don'ts

1. DON'T lose sight of what's important.
Sometimes the relationship you need to rescue is the one with yourself. Moving past a breakup is all about you, not your ex. Don't worry about becoming friends right away—if ever. You have to be your own friend first.

2. DON'T get stuck.
Grief is a process to go through, not a destination in which to wallow. In a process, you keep putting one foot in front of the other. Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months... each little step is part of the process of healing your heart.

3. DON'T embarrass yourself.
Driving past your ex's house, making dozens of phone calls, e-mailing non-stop…that's not the way to let go of the past. Don't get in a situation where you'll look back someday and feel humiliated.

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