They were few, but there have been times in the past when I became resentful of romantic things, romantic songs, romantic settings, romantic images, anything romantic. Even the most touching sight of romantic dinners by the window overlooking an endless sky isn't enough to make me stretch my lips and smile a bit. For me, they are a cause for alarm as they make me draw my hanky ready to wipe the remains of an ominous and voluminous puke. My eyebrows, in fact, meet tightly in the middle and rejoice instead.

There just isn't anything romantic about that, I would insist. Sooner or later, one leaves the other in tremendous sorrow and they would forever live making each other's name synonymous to a curse. Honey will then be Stupid. Darling will change to Asshole. Buttercup will now be Loser. Cupcake, a Liar. The revolting feeling doesn't end there. It goes even more abysmal, more earthy, more animalistic. So you laugh to the heavens as you decide to name your ugly dog from your ex and your neighbor's uglier cat from your ex's new partner. You do this while praying that it will make things a lot easier for you and you recover soon.

I couldn't place exactly where those intense resentment originated. It couldn't be autumn, since Manila only has dry and wet weathers. It certainly couldn't be anything related to deprivation because I would have friends with me and I have a good time when I'm with them. It can never be dietary because I'm fed well. Hormonal? I don't know.

But then at the back of my mind I knew maybe where it rightfully comes from. I was just too embarrassed to acknowledge it because it wasn't one that's uplifting. I am glad those times are over now. Something's really improved with age. I can now tirelessly watch loving couples pass me by and I all wish them well while I smile. I am now happy with news of friends finding partners finally as well as partners finding their formers partners and decide to be together again. I can join hundreds of couples at the Promenade looking out to the sea while waiting for the sunset and I wouldn't feel awkward. I smile when I see flowers and cakes and chocolates and rings. I pray when I attend weddings.

And I can soundly sleep now.