Without holding back, F. just blurted out to me, “Yeah, get in there. Guys are just waiting to get laid inside. Go get your share. Looks like you need it.” It would have been different if it were just the two of us talking because we’ve known each other for quite a while. But, my god, we were in a group of around seven, some of whom I have met only that time. F. didn’t stop there. Holding my elbows, he motioned as if to drag me inside the bar. That was it. I could no longer restrain myself. I was seething inside. I furiously shot back, “If this is how you get your self-esteem, please spare me. I don’t need men to make me feel good.”
He turned silent. He quickly realized I wasn’t joking. It wasn’t difficult to see why. It was as if I transformed into some goddess of doom right there. Some of the people in the group probably noticed what happened, but I tried somehow to carry on my conversations with them. I didn’t want to spoil their night. We were outside a popular bar along Makati Avenue famous for its not-so-flattering history.
There are very few occasions when comments from people suddenly make me defensive. One of them would be this. I don’t welcome the idea of people thoughtlessly picking on me (or whomever for that matter) thinking it’s OK since we know each other or we call each other friends from way back . I especially abhor the idea of people doing that in the pretense that it’s just a joke or a source of fun or to reinforce a point. What right do they have to do that?
I normally just ignore unkind remarks from friends or otherwise which I find disagreeable or, at the very least, senseless. I put on an unaffected front and start counting sheep and stars most of the time. Not because I like to be known as the next bitch in town, but I have figured, it’s the only way to spare me from unnecessary arguments and useless spats.
My unfortunate encounter with F made me realize I am far from perfecting the art of being unaffected. I will probably have a long way to go to master it. You see, I haven’t completely lost that urge to throw back stinging one or two liners to nasty and below-the-belt comments either from pathetic people aspiring for the slightest attention or wicked souls living inside alluring persons
4 comments:
For a while there I thought you were referring to me.. (Bakit naman kasi F talaga eh) but i realized i didn't even get to talk to you much that night, let alone make hirit like that.. to you pa. :) Let's lunch soon, J. Okies?!?! :)
bocceli, i just realized now F. ka rin pala. siyempre, hindi ikaw iyon, ikaw pa. e ang bait-bait mo. kaya ganon na lang ang inggit namin sa lovelife mo. :-)
Sino naman yung "namin"?
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