Love in the mountains

At 21, Ka Jose (right) is about 33 years younger than his partner, Ka Andres.


This photo made my day today. It didn't make me want to leave my city job right away and head to the hills to become a cadre, but it was enough for me to manage a warm smile, think fondly of our revolutionary brothers, and turn me into my hopeless romantic self even as I write now.

Let me congratulate first Ka Andres and Ka Jose who exchanged their vows as married couple in a ceremony last February 4 before friends and comrades right deep in the hinterlands of Compostella Valley in southern Philippines. The marriage holds the distinction of being the “first homosexual couple in the New People’s Army who were wed by the Communist Party of the Philippines (CPP).”

A sequined CPP flag took the place of the usual veil. It was held in place by a beaded cord which surrounded, not just the couple, but the comrade-witnesses to symbolize the support of comrade community to make their marriage strong. Instead of the customary unity candle that couples set alight, Ka Andres and Ka Jose each held a bullet to “represent their commitment to the armed struggle.” Like all weddings that we have grown accustomed to, love songs (albeit revolutionary) were sung. And although I’m not sure if there were marriage contracts where signatures were put on, the wedding was nevertheless sealed with a kiss.

There is something very poignant about the marriage. I feel elated and affirmed; at the same time, frustrated and a bit disillusioned. My mixed feelings has nothing to do with being resentful or unsupportive of marriage or the decision to get married. In fact, I have nothing but great admiration for the courage and love shown. I long for the day when each one is gifted immensely with such bravery that declarations of love from devoted couples render us oblivious to the mindless posturings of traditions and the Church.

Firstly, I feel sad that the government as well as the Church are not as progressive and bold in their marriage and family mindsets as the CPP. Lifetimes after lifetimes have passed and yet the government and the Church have yet to go past their archaic definitions of love and marriage and family. I have continuously rebuked the equation that family = father + mother + son + daughter + the dog, and instead challenge (the equation) to expand the definition into mature ideas regardless of how revolutionary they may be. To drive home my point, I will have no problem accepting a single mom and her kid to be a complete family in the same way that I will graciously consider two men (or two women for that matter) raising a child to be full families. On the other hand, the revolutionary CPP has only taken them ten years today to witness their first gay marriage from the time gay rights were first discussed in their movement in early 1995.

I'd like to end this with something positive. I will probably never meet the couple, but that shouldn't stop me from affirming them and their love story. I have taken enormous encouragement from the fact that their story upheld something that have always warmed my heart: that love isn't measured by age or background or company kept, but is nourished instead by respect, trust, and warm affections.