Being guy is fun

It was noon but the sun was out which made the weather a bit more bearable. Although not exactly a San Francisco kind of weather, the mild breeze were a refreshing delight as I walked down Ayala Avenue heading to lunch. The slightly chilling wind drove away the noontime heat and, at the same time, helped dry sweaty armpits and groin. I noticed several people swing their arms a bit farther from their hips than usual or would undo a shirt button one gap below than normal.

That’s when I realized there’s one more huge reason why men are infinitely more privileged than women. This time, it’s no longer just about men being able to unzip and spill wherever and whenever they want. It’s now become a battle of shapes and sizes instead.

Some women, like some of us men, at times amusingly equate their worth and merit with sizes and shapes. They feel good when they rest their arms across their chests and feel something that’s firmly rested and fresh as a plump bun. Others retreat in a bit of self-pity and embarrassment when they realize that what they have feels more like a fatigued and lifeless accessory. A few refuse to be troubled and just go about their way not minding incredulous stares from some people who seemed unusually mystified if they’re ogling at real boobs or just oversized zits. No matter how women try to hide their “deficiencies” with water-filled condoms or push-up bras, it’s all there for the world to see. You can’t just harvest them one second and try to relocate them some place more discreet the next moment.

In the case of men, at least there’s a little more secrecy to it. One may not be exceptional down there, but at least you don’t unwittingly scream to the world and give the slightest clue. Everyone is still left wondering about the real score. Of course, they can always ask for foot sizes or measure the length of forefingers, but you can always argue and start citing the latest scientific studies disproving theories of dicks and feet and fingers being related one way or another.

It’s really fun being a guy!

Google me

I got surprised finding out what Google has to say about my blog when you use the search engine to find it. I don't know how on earth this liner got there or who exactly put out that call to notify the writer about "objectionable content." Geeeezz!!

------------------
Web
Mga impormasyon tungkol sa promdi.blogspot.com
Living, Loving, Lusting Notify Blogger about objectionable content. What does this mean?
BlogThis! ...promdi.blogspot.com/
------------------

I suggest that you check out what Google has in store for you. Cliche-ish but, you'll never know what you're gonna get.

Old time refrain

As I walked out of the office for lunch today, I stood momentarily in the hallway before swinging the door open. There it was on the radio. A familiar sound, a witness to my younger days when everything was light and fresh and naive.

All of you out there who, at one time, got hooked on Xanadu's melody and refrain, here's to us.

A place where nobody dared to go
The love that we came to know
They call it Xanadu
And now open your eyes and see
What we have made is real
We are in Xanadu

A million lights are dancing
And there you are
A shooting star, an everlasting world
And you're here with me eternally

Xanadu, Xanadu, (now we are here) In Xanadu
Xanadu, Xanadu, (now we are here) In Xanadu
Xanadu, your neon lights will shine
For you, Xanadu

The love, the echoes of long ago
You needed the world to know
They are in Xanadu
The dream that came through a million years
That lived on through all the tears
It came to Xanadu

A million lights are dancing
And there you are
A shooting star, an everlasting world
And you're here with me eternally
Xanadu

Xanadu, (now we are here) In Xanadu Xanadu
Xanadu, (now we are here) In Xanadu
Now that I'm here
Now that you're near in Xanadu
Now that I'm here
Now that you're near in Xanadu
Xanadu...

Singles and doubles

In an isolated village up in the remote parts of Ifugao, I found the perfect metaphor to explain my present love condition. It came in the form of three lifeless clothespins --- two snuggling tightly beside each other; another quietly sitting by its lonesome not so far from where two are.



That’s how things have been in the last few weeks or so. Some of my friends seemed to have finally found their way hitting jackpots one after another. All of a sudden, it looked as if love and partnering became excessively easy for everyone to just take and keep. Few of my friends finally took the plunge and bade singlehood goodbye. They are in high heavens now, permanently upbeat, constantly smiling, always giggling, forever on the phone.

All these while I peacefully park myself in the sidelines enjoying life and love. Well, lust sometimes.

Small is beautiful

Observe closely. This is no ordinary bar graph. Every guy --- whether straight or gay, cut or uncut, virile or lethargic, popular or nameless, experienced or unexplored --- is represented here.

Some people may raise their eyebrows, but global survey results say, on whole, men are just six inches long down there. There are a few who are excessively gifted, but it's not something that causes much celebration. More often than not, these are unfortunately the same lot who thinks that dicks are used no other way than urinating. They somehow assume that the size makes up for whatever performance shortcomings they may have. And so, they decide to just lie down there like a log and let their miserable partners take charge. They take for granted that they needed to perform too believing that their contribution to lovemaking ends with their phalluses.

Which leads my friend to forcefully declare, he had always preferred being with Asians (ok, ok…. specifically Pinoys) when it comes to sex. The pieces may not be huge, massive, or enormous in length, diameter or thickness, but its stiffness is guaranteed to endure four seasons of the year. That's what matters.

I humbly submit.

The stars spoke

It started out as a joke between me and my sister. She said it was going to be purely for fun. Nothing to be feared about. The guy is all but scary, my sister assured me, he won’t start a raging litany of misfortunes involving my life, she added. I just needed to abandon all my prejudices in the door and allow him to present his readings about me based on just my full name, date and place of birth, and nickname.

And so I YM’d this guy, this complete stranger based hundreds of miles away in India whose appearance was as mysterious to me as his ability to read the future. But still, I gave all the personal details he needed. For once, I decided to be lighthearted and gave in. I have an 11-lettered middle name and a family name that’s nine. It took him a while to read what those numbers have in store for me.

I was interested to hear what those numbers will say about work, change in residence, and possibly love. Most likely in that order. I don’t have any idea how he works but some of his readings, I must admit, came as pleasant surprise. We have never known each other from Adam but his “findings” got me seated firmly to spend some time with him.

Changing jobs apparently won’t help me now. It will take about a year or more before any change will do me favor. My birth number is 9 and my future number is 1. My expression number is 96 or 6, heart desire number is 1 while personality number is 5.

--------------------------------------------
Excerpts of my conversation with the astrologer, unedited:
V - astrologer, managillo is my yahoo username


V: ur a man of strong personality, lot of leadership qualities,
V: having selfrespect,stubborn,
managillo: im listening...
V: ur lucky in most areas of ur life
V: ur main concern is ur familly,parents, family members
managillo: that's true
V: and finally ur cuntry
V: u will alwys think to contribut to ur family and cuntry
managillo: yes


managillo: about living abroad? or working abroad. what does it say?
V: u will settle in abroad
managillo: does it say when?


V: u have very srtong combination of 9-1 planets
managillo: what does it mean?
V: 9=mars= king, ruler, angry, royal
managillo: angry? stubborn? wow...
V: 1=sun= king, leadar, ego, govt. supported
managillo: prospect in politics?
V: very high
V: great leadrs and patriots born under 9-1
managillo: can you see me in politics?
V: but u will get every thing after little bit strugling
V: u will shine in politics
managillo: when is that time it will start shining? :-)
V: 2007 onwards but now also u dont have problems
managillo: is there a particular job or field that i should focus to help me when i eventually settle abroad
V: real estate , land devlopment, construction
managillo: does it say i will actually hold an elective position in govt?
V: hed of the institute will suits u most
V: genaraly u dont like to work under someone!
managillo: prospect in business?
V: service oriented jobs are best
managillo: service oriented job or business?
V: because mars, sun public sector group
managillo: so if i have to start a business, it means it has to be in the service industry?
V: ya
V: u and ur product will reach people soon by way of service
managillo: when's a good time to start a business
V: 2007
V: 2007=9
managillo: what about politics? when's a good time? also 2007?
V: but it will start ur year aug2006 onwards
managillo: what do you mean
V: aug2006 on ward is good
managillo: that's one more year of struggle
V: ur 2007 will start at 2006 agu to aut 2007
managillo: so between now and aug2006, what do you see?
V: alomst looks like but u dont have any thrate
V: it is time for u to do some mistakes


managillo: what about love? will it come, will it come?
V: u r king u will be loved by meny
managillo: and not by one? hehe
V: not so
managillo: that means what? i'll never be in a relationship?
V: relationship is not love
managillo: what does it mean
V: u might have not responded to somones love
managillo: do you see me being in a relationship soon?
V: i dont see any delays

Reminiscing

Having written three consecutive entries about intimacy makes me feel naked. I thought I have unnecessarily undressed before a jampacked coliseum with all the spotlights on me. There's this funny feeling that some friends have been unwittingly provided with new materials to make me a convenient conversation piece during the next gathering.  Not only that, I'd likely be forced to provide more juicy details and asked to answer follow-up questions that'll come one after another. 

 

I've never really shared these things --- ever -- before. I'm glad I did now. It feels like giving those lovely memories their rightful tribute.

Those were the days

I thought it'd be such a waste to just keep my fondest "couple" memories silently parked in the fringes of my failing mind. I'm sharing them now as my modest way to highlight the idea that there is nothing so distinctly different in straight relationships that sets it apart from those in gay relationships. Love is love, relationship is relationship regardless of whether it's between a man and a woman, a woman and another woman, or a man and another man.

--------------------------------

1. Sunday morning cuddles. Since we usually don’t go out Saturday nights, we would wake up early on Sunday mornings and just cuddle on bed. Whoever’s not too lazy between us would switch on the TV and we’d watch a Chinese cooking show of this elderly Mandarin-speaking woman who can clip practically anything with her chopsticks. My ex would serve as an alluring interpreter replete with all the funny gestures and dialogue. We’d end up a riot, laughing wildly while watching.

2. Doing grocery. We love to do the grocery together. I always prefer pushing the cart, patiently following him while he picks out items from the shelf and tosses them over to me. At times, I’d be asked which brand I prefer. I always quietly yield to what he likes. Except for bath soaps and lotion. Mild scent and unscented, respectively.

3. Visiting wet market. Occasionally, we’d wake up really early on weekend mornings and head to the nearest wet market. We’d charm the vendors and always end up going home with a few more vegetables, a few more meat slices, and a few more new friends.

4. Sunday lunches with nephews. His nephews would be rowdy when they come for a Sunday lunch visit with their parents, but they are always a welcome sight. They call me Uncle J. and would let me in about what’s latest with them. The elder one Ryan would charm me with his most recent fascinating puppy love stories while the younger one JR would ask me for help in his assignments or practice his latest declamation piece in front of me.

5. Using my own cutleries. It never fails to warm my heart seeing my partner use my own spoon or fork at home during a meal or even at the restaurant when we dine. It’s a lovely gesture to show complete acceptance and quiet devotion.

6. Sharing a cup of coffee. There’d be times when we would fix a drink, usually coffee, and would share the same cup. It’s the ultimate gesture of warm loving.

7. Lunch calls. I’d spend more days having lunch at work only to catch his phone calls around noon on weekdays. It’s the only time he can get to the phone to call me during the day. I thought the least I can do is make sure I’d be available to take those calls.

8. Kiss before sleeping. Just before switching off the bedside lamp before retiring at night, he would lean over and kiss me goodnight. Of course, it’s always punctuated with ilavyus.

9. Spooning. It’s our favorite sleeping position next to him cuddling quietly on my chest with my right arm around him. When spooning, I prefer to be one doing the spoon. It’s my way of saying nothing can harm him while I’m around. Like the song. Cheesy but true.

10. Picture frames. One weekend, he brought several small picture frames with him and asked me to go over our photo album and choose photos we can cut and mount on the frames. It’s a happy sight seeing your “couple” photos on top of the dresser and the bedside tables. There’s that immense feeling of being loved and cared for that is so breathtaking.

11. Wednesday masses. Wednesday evenings before dinner are spent hearing mass first. It’s his Wednesday tradition of sorts of which I fully support. He knows I don’t make the sign of the cross anymore nor participate in the other elaborate rituals, but he doesn’t mind. We make sure, though, that we do our peace-be-with-yous. More often, we say something else.

12. Sunday service. He hears mass, I attend a service. That didn’t stop us from joining each other’s Sunday duties. He proposed a compromise, which I agreed: First Sundays of the month are spent going to my church while the rest of the Sundays we head to his. Finding the middle ground isn’t as difficult as some people think.

13. Heart drawings. We have this way of silently saying ilavyus when we’re in public. It only takes a split second to do it. No sweat. With just our right forefingers, we draw hearts in the air. Everywhere at any time but always very discreetly. We’d be seated together in a moviehouse, for example, and feel affectionate all of a sudden. It’s disheartening not to have a way of communicating it right away. And so we usually place our hand lightly on the other’s lap or back and draw a heart. We then know what that means.

14. Staring while sleeping. On few occasions, I would wake up earlier and just stare at him as he snuggled up beside me. I would stroke his hair till I head back to dreamland myself. When I wake up again, I would catch him staring at me lovingly with a ready smile.

15. Poo-pooing while showering. Nothing beats our conversations while I would shower and he’d just be a few steps away from me poo-pooing. He lights a scented candle first before getting settled with a magazine on one hand. We’d talk about, among others, our workday, a gift we’d bring to a birthday party we’ve been invited to, our next weekend schedule, what grocery items to buy.